How does one justify gnosticism in the face of salvation through the grace of God? How does one justify a totem following in the light that we are saved through Gods' grace? Can one both claim favor in God's eyes, while following both a totemic and gnostic path?
These are both very integral parts of my life. Yet, the questions sdo arise. Is it possible to say, that it is not sin but ignorance that keeps me from Gods light, when it is also said that I must come to God as a small child and let his grace rain down on me? What need would i have for a totem spirit if it is only truly through God that i may find eternal life?
Faith in God is very important. I can accept this. Without direct knowledge, one must fall back on faith to provide a background for spiritual awareness. It is through faith that one recieves the grace from the Creator. Could the quest for knowledge and gnosis lead to a challenge of that faith? True experience is much stronger than raw faith, yet, is it not possible to still find salvation through gnosis? Is grace limited only to those who have blind faith in our Lord?
On the matter of following a Totem, is this a rejection of Gods grace? Am i turning away from God by owing allegiance to a Totem? Difficult question. It comes down to whether or not a totem is an extension of God. It also depends on the priorities that one sets up in life. If one keeps ones faith in God supreme at all times, then all else will fall into place. This holds true for totemic beliefs, for taoist teachings, and many other philosophical bents. Am i no more a christian because i place Jesus among the ranks of the prophets instead of a messiah? His teachings are a beacon to the world, but i do not worship him. For that matter i do not worship Raven either. There is no God but God, as the muslims would say. The others earn my respect, nothing more. They are teachers, and guideposts, on the way to eternal light. Raven is to me a teacher. He is a messenger from the Creator, sent to guide me on my path. I see him as an extension from God, in the way an angel might also be. Is God only capable of working in the confines of Judeo-Christian mythology? I should hope not. God is all-powerful, and hence, without limits, and outside our understanding.
Am i writing this in some feeble attempt to justify my beliefs? Possibly. I am haunted by these worries. I truly fear that i am on the wrong path, that i reek of the lacking. I need a stable foundation to keep my faith strong. For a long time i have felt disaffected with the church. I failed to see the lure. What goes on between myself and God should stay between myself and God. I see no need to include anyone else, much less someone who says that they should stand between us. I failed to understand the worship people gave to Jesus. I did not see this wish as i read his teachings. The church justifies this by saying that Jesus is God, via the Triune-God; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. A feeble attempt, in my mind, to keep people from thinking they are breaking the 1st Commandment. All that i do is in light that one day i will face God, who will sit in judgement. My faith must be strong on that day.
For some times i have felt a drawing towards gnostic practices and beliefs. The core of their teachings, as i interpret them, is that is it not sin, but ignorance which keeps us from God's light. Knowledge, true experience, termed gnosis, will bring one closer to God. While faith is strong, and to be admired, gnosis will lead to wisdom and a strength unparalleled. As an analogy, a man lives his whole life in a cave, and those around him tell him that the sky is blue. But he never leaves the cave, and so never truly knows what color the sky is. His faith and belief in the words of others is what he relies on. But if the man stands up, and steps outside the cave, he can see for himself that the sky is indeed blue, and he is a better man for it. He does not need to believe that the sky is blue, because he KNOWS now what color it is.
True, the man in the above analogy does reject the words of those around him. He holds in doubt what they say. Is this wrong? In the end he only verified what he had been told all his life. To say that it is wrong to reject the teachings and dogma out of hand, in order to search for knowledge and experience, to search for truth, shows a lack of confidence on the part of the old guard in their own words. In many cases, one goes on a search for gnosis only to confirm what has been taught. Faith based on knowledge is a prize to be treasured.
Where does a Totem come from? Are they extensions from God? Can totemic beliefs be compatible with christian gnostic thought? It is my belief that Raven is a key to gnosis, and from there, to closeness with God. Raven, and perhaps all totems are teachers, guides, on a path to the Divine. Perhaps they are more. Who can say? I do not believe they are "spawn of the Devil". Is the tree that grows in the forest a child of satan? Is the eagle that flies above? No. They are Gods creations, his children. I believe the same of Totems. Does this mean that all totems are beneficial? I'm not so sure. Just as with anything, there is good, and there is bad. As one much choose carefully ones friends, one should also choose carefully the spirits one associates with.
I see totems as a key to gnosis. For me, Raven has become like a mentor, a guru perhaps, in a very esoteric way, for me to achieve wisdom through experience. Raven gives me nothing. I earn through blood and sweat all that i have. But i am gratefull. I do not however worship raven. Far from the fact. There is no God, but God. Raven is his messenger.